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“Algospeak”: Short King Spring, and Giftcards at the Potluck

Buffalo Wild Wings gift cards are gonna crush at the next church fundraiser
April 15, 2022

Bed, Bath and Not-Quite-Far-Enough. In what executives blamed on ongoing supply chain challenges and inventory constraints, Bed Bath & Beyond reported fourth-quarter net sales fell 22% year over year to $2.1 billion, while comparable sales fell 12%. Supply chain, and not boring retail, is to blame here. Definitely.

Being Single is So 2000-and-late. From soft launches to short king spring, let me introduce you to the long-term relationship aesthetic. “It’s the rise of internet language like being “down bad” and “simping” being baked into our vernacular as euphemisms for having feelings, acknowledging the optics of being publicly in love.”

Pre-Wobbled Furniture. FINALLY. Save a little dough and buy the “not quite as tight as the first time you build it” piece from IKEA you’ve always wanted. IKEA’s resale program goes nationwide and is permanent starting today. In a stroke of synergy, you can finally reliably sit on furniture that other peoples’ butts have been on (IKEA), while sitting in pants that other peoples’ butts have been in.

Scotch and Grow-da. After announcing plans to open 22 stores by the end of 2021, your favorite f***-boy brand, Scotch and Soda, is looking to expand its presence further in major cities like Boston, Milan and Shanghai.

Can you Burn Calories Watching Other People Run? REI Co-op is investing in a multi-year, omnichannel strategy to engage customers across all touchpoints, including online entertainment and films. Following their success with web series like “Miranda in the Wild” and “How to Run 100 Miles”, they’re doubling down on their films and docuseries efforts for the running community.


Shipium Raises a $27.5M Series A. eCom retailers of all sizes can have a supply chain coordination layer that enables them to provide fast and cheaper shipping, too. Shipium has raised an historic Series A investment to give Prime capabilities to any online retailer. Congratulations to our friends at Shipium, Jason Murray, and Kris Gösser!

The Acronymification of eCom. While eCom is booming, it has become apparent that a transactional catalog alone isn’t enough to orchestrate your business processes. Enter PIM and CSP software. Salsify has dominated in the SaaS middle-office software arena, and today has secured a $200M investment to continue that winning streak, bringing their total valuation to $2B.

Nip-nop at the Le Dollar Bean. To avoid angering the almighty algorithm, creators on TikTok and other platforms are creating a new vocabulary. And it’s catching on. “Dood morning hansomebobansom puppy in the waylds. Whatta doonin?” All of our collective brains are sufficiently broken, and both content filters and autocorrect are to blame.

Who’s Bringing GAP to the Potluck? Over $3 billion worth of gift cards go to waste annually, CardFunder has created a "turn-key" event-in-a-box model enabling not-for-profits to redeem them, a kind of "lost and fund." Your Buffalo Wild Wings gift card is going to be a smash at the next church fundraiser, Lois.

Cover Photo by Jack Finnigan on Unsplash

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