The Driptator, Nike, and the New Gods of Confirmation
Welcome to Wednesday, futurists.
When photos of a captured Nicolás Maduro hit social media, the discourse moved from "is this real?" to "ID on that tracksuit?" faster than you could say Nike Tech Fleece. A proof-of-life photo became a shopping wave.
A dictator's wardrobe became a consumer artifact. And somewhere between verification and velocity, we built a new kind of economy: one where participation means purchasing, and proximity is the only currency that matters.
Hermès Rages War Against eCom Best Practices. The luxury brand is pushing against industry standards by hiring an artist to completely redesign its website with hand-drawn illustrations. Static, one-dimensional product shots are replaced with creative animations showing cartoon products in completely unexpected contexts. Human models are minimized in favor of crabs wearing beanies and squids wearing boots. It’s fun and enthralling while reaffirming the brand’s commitment to craft. This is the perfect distillation of our 2026 prediction that craft (and care) will be cool again. RIP best practices, we won’t miss you.
Want to rage about eCommerce homogeneity some more? Us too. Phillip and Alicia were recently on Commerce’s Keeping Commerce Weird podcast to chat about why standing out online is not so hard today. All you really need is a clear POV, grit, and creative integrity.
The Fit Girl Elite. The cycle of self-loathing continues with a new girlie aesthetic: “fit girl physique.” In a Financial Times article, Osman Ahmed makes the argument that the widespread availability of GLP-1 drugs has made “the cult of thinness more attainable,” and therefore, a new status symbol is required. Thigh gaps aren’t the new self-worth north star; buff arms are. We’ve covered how the normalization of GLP-1 and “Ozempic-led messaging” will have ripple effects across influencer marketing, brand strategy, and product development. With news of a new pill just coming out, we’re already seeing the discourse evolve and accelerate. This isn’t just going to inform minor, tactical decisions; it will guide strategies.
Street Cred Doesn’t Pay the Bills. Despite its base of loyal customers and undeniable cultural credibility, Converse appears to be a problem child for parent company Nike. A BNP Paribas Equity Research senior analyst reported in a client note that Nike may be considering a sale, citing a 30% decline in Converse's revenues in its most recent quarter. These results, coupled with low demand creation and higher product development costs, spell trouble, especially given Converse’s overreliance on off-price channels rather than key wholesale partners.
The Holiday Touchdown. Final holiday numbers are in, and they’re a lot better than many expected. Adobe marked a 6.8% YOY increase in US online sales, largely driven by discounts that encouraged shoppers to trade up on key purchases. The majority of transactions tracked (56.4%) were conducted via smartphones, and as a result, BNPL usage reached a $20B milestone (that’s a nearly 10% lift over 2024). Salesforce saw a similar level of global growth (7% total sales increase), but nearly half of that domestically (4%). For Salesforce merchants, AI and agents influenced 20% of all retail sales, representing a $262B revenue impact.
The New Nostalgia. Chick-fil-A is attempting to course-correct its slowing growth with a new campaign that doubles down on nostalgia. The year-long initiative ties to its 80th anniversary and includes retro packaging, themed merch, and a contest that gives people the chance to win free food for a year. While the chain has stayed out of the fast-food value wars, this is clearly a major investment to tap into the connection it has forged with diners over the years. But gimmicky campaign elements like collectible cups and a “free food lottery” reek of desperation.
America Runs on Protein. Dunkin’ is joining the protein cash grab by launching Protein Milk, a seamless way for consumers to add a boost of protein to their coffees, lattes, matcha, and Refreshers, without the chalky texture and funky aftertaste. The brand has also launched a special menu of Protein Milk drinks, including an Almond Iced Protein Matcha Latte, Strawberry Protein Refresher, and Mango Protein Refresher, created in partnership with Megan Thee Stallion. Dunkin’s move is a bit slow after a slew of QSRs went big on the protein push, from Sweetgreen to Chipotle and, yes, even Starbucks. But the advantage may come if Dunkin’s drinks don’t cause the same level of digestive distress.
Wearable Intelligence. We’re only a few days into CES, but our feeds are flooded with new product announcements and demos. Wearables are a major focal point this year, with smart rings and bracelets promising to boost productivity and biohack your body. Between the laundry-folding bots, autonomous vehicles, and a power keyboard that instantly makes your smartphone dumb, well, we’re seeing our 2026 predictions come to life before our very eyes.
The Bot Connection. Our New Modes research scratched the surface of the idea that consumers feel a strong connection to their AI assistants. Our deeper exploration during the holiday season validated that AI is far more than a shopping tool…it’s a companion. But how far does this idea go? New data from Coresight Research indicates that consumers want AI to sound like them, with most consumers favoring their own gender and associated accents.
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